I saw an article the other day on plastic surgery.

I have a very “Chinese” face. Meaning round, with fleshy cheeks and an almost non-existent nose bridge. An English friend of mine in Oxford used to call me Moon Face – fondly, as I chose to believe. With age, I’ve lost volume in my cheeks. Imagine my face as a round pizza dough. Press with your palms the two sides where my cheeks are gently towards the nose. That’s how my face is today. (Cannot imagine?  There’s my fb profile pic to help https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100011337186796

Don’t mind the strategically placed hand, it’s meant to convey thoughtfulness.)

There’s one thing you need to know about us Chinese – we will ask you how much your house costs, why you’re not having a second child, and why your nose is so flat. At least that’s what my family members do, the older generation that is. From a very young age, this is what I gathered of my face:

– It is too round
– My nose is too flat
– My forehead is too broad
– My upper lip is shorter than my lower lip

Dad, bless him, managed to turn everything into an advantage:

– Round faces signify good fortune. So says Chinese face reading!
– Flat but full noses foretells wealth. Li Kashing has a similar nose!
– Broad foreheads signal intelligence. Look at Lee Kuan Yew!
– Shorter upper lips connote eloquence. His daughter is proof! (Excuse his circular reference..)

I don’t blame my relatives for exposing me to face dysmorphia. I’m convinced that they mean no harm, though I recognize the harm it can do to someone with a less positive disposition. It’s a bluntness that is uniquely Chinese, which juxtaposes itself very interestingly with the other great Chinese characteristic – beating around the bush. I think this is how we go: if we want to know something, we go straight for it, but if we want something, we go in circles, in the hope that the other party figures it out and offers it instead. Do you agree??

Anyway, so I grew up with a somewhat confused view of my face. It’s probably too round but surely the good fortune I’ll have more than compensates? My forehead is very broad but intelligence must count more? And on I went..

I finally found peace with my face in my twenties, when I grasped – finally! – that beauty is not how long my lips are or whether you can draw my face with a ruler or compass. It is far more about who I am and how I am. And now that I’ve found peace, I want to say to the girls out there who hanker after the “ideal” V-shaped face, and photoshop or plastic surgery themselves into such (don’t worry, I’m not going to launch into how inner beauty is more important) – there’s no true beauty in commonality. In a sea of V shaped faces, it is your moon face that makes you special. Embrace it!