I was asked by a reader, who tells me she reads this blog avidly (thank you so much!), about the rainbow I let go.

That was decades ago, and it was to be a dancer. Mum and Dad didn’t know anything about ballet and wouldn’t be able to afford classes in any case, so I took up Chinese dance instead at school when I was ten or so. I enjoyed it a lot, the beauty of its simplicity. Not that dancing is simple, but that there’s a simplicity to it, in being solely about one’s mind and body, and nothing else. That purity appealed to me, and still does. The mind distills what needs to be done, the body strives for perfection in executing it, for as long as it can until bodies do what they do, and refuse to cooperate anymore! Perhaps I started too late, or perhaps I just wasn’t talented enough. I realised a few years later that I could be good at it, perhaps even very good, but I could never be amongst the best. I did not want to spend my life pursuing good enough, and so I let that rainbow go.

My next rainbow as I mentioned was public service. To lead and serve for the greater and common good, inspired by the giants of history I so admire. But civil service requires a degree of conformity that I’m not sure I’m cut out for. And politics entails much compromising that I’m not sure I’m prepared for. You may ask if the rich findings at the end of that rainbow not be sufficient compensation. That’s perhaps the issue. I’m not convinced that my rainbow can be found only through politics and civil service. Those are two possible avenues. The most obvious, but by no means the only. As I said, I haven’t given up hope yet that I’ll figure it out someday!

In the meantime, I’m enjoying my work. Is that possible, I hear you wonder. Yes, if you’re challenged, and work serves a larger purpose beyond paying bills.

In “From Esprit to Kelly”, I explained that I wanted to work as soon as I could, to start contributing to the family. More than contributing, I wanted to secure the future of my parents, ensuring that they would never have to worry about finances ever again. The first twenty of my life, they provided for me. I shall do the same for them, for the rest of theirs.

Of course, there’s Son’s future to secure too. Though me being me, I’m not looking to provide for him for the rest of his life. That’s the biggest disservice we can do him, I think. His life must be his to make the best of. What we have to do is provide him with the best education possible, and the most opportunities conceivable. The rest is up to him. It has to be.

Securing the future of these three human beings whom I love so dearly is my larger purpose.

Ten years ago, I was hired to establish a new business unit in APAC for The Firm. There was no asset, no team, no nothing when I joined. But I relished the prospect of creating something, and watching it grow. In many ways, The Firm is the perfect balance between entrepreneurism and employment. I got to build something, whilst enjoying the security of a stable income. I jumped at the opportunity. Ten years on, I have a great team, as described in “What a team!” and a viable business. I’ve since progressed to a global role. A larger platform, greater responsibilities. There are many difficulties in managing a global business in transition as ours is, amidst the tough market environment we find ourselves in today. But therein lies the challenge, and it keeps me engaged, focused and excited.

There has to be a rainbow in something that stretches you, and serves a purpose beyond self, even if it’s not the most magical, no?